I Am Who I Am and I Deserve an ID to Match
My ID is often the first thing people see about me. I could be at the grocery store, the DMV, or working my last job as a commercial driver. As a trans woman, if my gender marker doesn鈥檛 match my name, paperwork, or how I present, then it will determine the way I get treated 鈥 whether I get called 鈥渕a鈥檃m鈥 and helped, or dismissed because they don鈥檛 want to deal with me.
Having an inaccurate gender marker has cost me a job, housing opportunities, and basic respect. I worked as a commercial driver for 13 years. When I started a job at a new company, everything was going smoothly until I had to provide my birth certificate for paperwork. At the time, my birth certificate read 鈥淢鈥 for gender. After my new employers saw it, they found reasons to question my work and fired me. I haven鈥檛 been able to find the same kind of steady job since.
I鈥檓 here to identify myself accurately and get respect.
It鈥檚 hard not to take it personally, but over the years I have grown numb to the discrimination. Sometimes, these experiences made me want to give up. But that's not true happiness. That's not what I鈥檓 here for. I鈥檓 here to identify myself accurately and get respect. So I have no choice but to keep pushing through.
I wasn鈥檛 always able to get a gender marker that matched who I am. When I lived in Maryland, I was able to get my legal name changed to Erica, but the requirements to get my gender marker changed on my Maryland ID back then were just too burdensome. I was supposed to provide letters from two different doctors 鈥 a physician and a therapist. This was impossible because I didn鈥檛 have a regular doctor or therapist. So every time I showed my license I would just hope that they didn鈥檛 notice the marker and question or disrespect me.
When I moved to D.C. they made it a lot easier. I didn鈥檛 have to get a medical examination, and the whole process seemed more open. It just seemed like they were saying, 鈥淥kay, we understand your experience. We understand that this will make life better for you.鈥 Ever since I got my IDs changed, there has been a noticeable difference in the way I get treated.
Today I feel very comfortable and confident when I show anybody my ID because it matches my true self. For me, that meant getting an 鈥淔鈥 as my gender marker. For others, that might mean using a gender-neutral 鈥淴鈥 marker, because some people don鈥檛 identify as male or female, so they shouldn鈥檛 be forced into a box they don鈥檛 fit into. Having an accurate ID should be a right for everybody, whether you鈥檙e trans, cis, or nonbinary.
Having an accurate ID should be a right for everybody, whether you鈥檙e trans, cis, or nonbinary.
Unfortunately there are still a lot of people who don鈥檛 understand. They might have a notion that everybody is the same and everybody makes the same choices, or that those of us who are trans and nonbinary are bad people who are up to no good. But trans and nonbinary people are just trying to be happy and access the same rights as everybody else. We are who we are. Until more people realize that, we are going to keep being rejected and discriminated against just for living our truth.
I鈥檓 hopeful that with the new administration we will see real change. President Biden has already repealed the trans military ban and both he and Vice President Harris have pledged to support the Equality Act. We need to hold our leaders accountable. One way to make a meaningful difference in the lives of trans and nonbinary people is to that reflects who we are.